1 Dec

Wedding Wednesday: What They Don’t Tell You About Being Engaged

Don’t get me wrong, I am SO happy to be getting married.  But I’ve also discovered that there are some less-than-fun aspects of this whole engagement thing.  (Almost engaged girls: prepare yourselves!)

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Here are my top five un-fun engagement frustrations (in no particular order):

1. Money management. This one isn’t too surprising, I guess.  But boy does it suck to fall in love with something and then realize that it’s not in the budget.  Even when you can afford something, talking finances is never that fun and can easily take me out of the spirit of wedding planning.

2. When other couples get engaged after you, but married before you. I should have known that this would happen, since Travis and I chose to have a longer engagement (14.5 months), but I had no idea it would bug me so much!  I didn’t know many betrothed couples before our engagement this summer, but now it feels like everyone is putting a ring on it.  Even Kate Middleton and Price William are getting married before we are, and they JUST got engaged!!

3. When both of your ex’s happen to work at the restaurant that is catering your wedding. Oh, that doesn’t happen to everybody?  Well, aren’t we lucky…

4. Opinions, opinions, opinions. Everyone has one, and they love to share.  I’ve heard that this happens with new parents as well (something else to look forward to, I guess…), and I still don’t know exactly how to handle everyone’s “help”.  I’ve learned that when people tell you what your wedding should or shouldn’t be like— or when they make specific requests— it’s usually out of love.  It’s their way of saying “I want your wedding to be awesome… here’s how to make it happen”.  Cue the smile and nod

5. People assuming that they’re invited to the wedding. Yikes… this one is probably the worst of them all, mostly due to guilt.  Travis and I both have big families, but we’re having the wedding at my parent’s house, which isn’t big enough to hold everyone.  (Not to mention, our just-out-of-college budget can’t handle the weight of everyone we’re related to!)  It’s so hard running into people who offhandedly say “I can’t wait for the wedding!”, when we know that they probably won’t be on the guest list.

Married or engaged girls: Did you run into these problems when you were planning your wedding?  Any other difficult things about being engaged?

Single and almost-engaged girls: Any tips on how to best handle these situations??!  Do you anticipate engagement difficulties?  Tell me about it in the comments!!


{ posted: Wednesday, December 1, 2010 }


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Comments: {7}

  • Stephanie K writes:

    Lol, great post! Hang in there, just remember the light at the end of the tunnel (woot woot, the big day!) and you’ll definitely get through the frustrations.

    And that last part seems like the trickiest one (though, having BOTH of your exes possibly involved with the catering is, um…special?), but I’m sure your friends who you can’t fit on the guest list will come to understand the financial aspect of everything (especially when they get there). Maybe you can have a party or something on a different date with just your friends and it could be like a pot-luck to help ease costs. That way people you couldn’t include in THE day can still share in the celebration and have an easy-going party…lol *your cue to smile and nod*

    Good luck with everything!

  • Kelsey writes:

    this post is great!! you’ll get through it all, just visualize the wedding day and being married to the man you love and all the other junk won’t matter anymore! :)
    The ex’s thing is hysterical though….good luck with that!! lol

  • Bryn writes:

    Hi Kim,
    Chet and I had a small budget… we decided on a couple areas to splurge and the rest, well, we went ultra simple (such as invites, which end up in the recycling….) One can get carried away, that is FOR SURE. Stay focused. The two things I would do over would be – photos (more specific about my expectations) and flowers/reception decor – again, more specific. I gave too much artistic freedom… no big in the end… People generally respect budget concerns – just say no to sale closers – sometimes they ‘get you’ on the emotional side. It is about you and Travis and a couple of your parent’s dear friends. Be clear on kids or adult only on invites. And hopefully, people will not write in a bunch of names of guests that you had not planned on (that happened to me at my rehearsal dinner AND reception.) What the HECK? Allow for some flexibility and set your sites on the future! Love, Bryn

  • Sarah writes:

    You will make it through, Kim! I definitely had the guest problem. Part of it was my mom wanting to invited everyone in the county and part of it was people assumed they were coming. I even had someone call me the day before the wedding and say, “I didn’t receive and invitation, but I know I am invited. I will see you tomorrow.” That was a hard conversation, but I just explained that I was on a tight budget, and that otherwise I would have invited them. In the end, I also sat down my mom, and said, “You get ____ (number) people. No more.” It was so hard. I also had wedding crashers who were sent away.

    But all hope is not lost. To help people to feel included and let them know I cared, I did send out a bunch of announcements with a letter about Chris and I. It turned out relatively well. Good luck Kim!

  • Kayla writes:

    I didn’t think the guest list was going to be an issue but when one of my relatives started photocopying our invitation and giving it to univited guests, I realized the lack of guest [or not a guest!] etiquette out there. I started having all sorts of people facebooking and emailing me–telling me they were so excited to come to the wedding. I simply had to reply with a stern, but tasteful message that we were planning a more intimate celebration and although we appreciated their thoughts, we couldn’t invite them. Most took it well, others, not so much. The part I’m fearful about is the uninvited guests who choose to ignore our request and come anyway. I’m hoping that come wedding day, I won’t care about those details.

  • Kimberly writes:

    @Kayla- oh my goodness, that sounds terrible! I can’t believe that anyone would actually photocopy your invites! Make sure that on the day of the wedding and guest issues are dealt with by someone else, so that you can enjoy your day… good luck!

  • {blending beautiful} » Have A Romantic Weekend! writes:

    [...] Five things you didn’t know about being engaged. [...]

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