2 Sep

Have You Ever Made A Must-Have Love List?

When I was 18, my hairstylist told me to make a list of traits that I wanted in a mate.  She swore that by putting the list onto paper and out into the universe, I was more likely to attract someone who was right for me.  I was skeptical, but after a string of not-so-great boyfriends, I decided to give it a shot.  Did it work?


Not at first.  But a few weeks before my 19th birthday, Travis and I started dating.  And, well, the rest is history!

Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find that list (though I know it’s somewhere).  But I remember some of my must-haves (in no particular order):

1) He MUST be taller than me.

2) He has to make me laugh.

3) He has to like kids (and want some of his own one day).

4) He needs to be intelligent.

5) He has to be honest.

6) He should have a close relationship with his family.

There were more, though I don’t remember them all now.  Fortunately for me, Travis meets every criteria on the list (and then some!)  And it’s because of this that I wonder whether putting something out “into the universe” actually does work…

Have you ever made a list of traits that your future partner must have?  What’s on it?  If you’ve made a list, have you find a guy who meets many (if not all) of the criteria?  Do you think that creating something like this really works?  Tell me what you think in the comments!

{ posted: Thursday, September 2, 2010 }


Comments: {6}

  • Sirleen writes:

    I definitely think that putting out to the universe what you want works, as well as clarifying your own mind as to what you want.

    I had a short list for what I wanted in a man that I’m surprised I’ve never shared with you – it’s the three S’s – smart, sweet & sexy. Norm met my criteria and we’ve been married for a long time…

  • Caitlin writes:

    I’ve never made a list of must-haves, but my friends and I made lists of dealbreakers this summer because it just seemed more interesting! Hopefully the universe will accept that, too…

  • Luna Hacker writes:

    I have made a must have love list to manifest my true love, and it worked!
    I counsel women all the time to do the same. The universe is full of abundance, the only thing, we have to ask for what we want!

  • Sara writes:

    I haven’t made a list of love must haves (…maybe this is why I’m single?) but I did do it for a job right after I graduated. My mom is super into attracting abundance and I was being angsty about moving and being unemployed and she was finally like “Sit down right now and do this.” I wrote out the list, got an interview, and got the job within like…a week and a half. It totally works.

  • rachel writes:

    i remember when you shared that with me a couple years ago and it worked :) i think it can help out because it gives you clarity and simplifies all the mumbo jumbo in your head….helps you get back to basics and what really matters. i found myself thinking about things i thought mattered and being too embarrassed to even put them on paper cause they were soooo not important when i really thought about it!! i just passed this advice on to a good friend like a week before this was posted!! whatta cowinkeedink!! ;)

  • Cathy writes:

    Kim, You have described your Dad! I have always thought that one of your dad’s most appealing qualities is how much he really likes all kids in general, and then is absolutely crazy about his own kids in particular. I especially appreciate how comfortable he seemed to be showing his affection for you and Jeff in physically demonstrative ways, even when you were prickly teenagers.

    And aside to Caitlin: A list of dealbreakers might be fun, but is not at all the same thing as focusing on the positive qualities you want! Remember the advice about how to deal with little kids (and anyone, really). Warning “Don’t run!” or “Don’t Shout!” puts too much emphasis on the negative behaviors you don’t want to see. The experts say we should instead request and commend the actions we DO want to see, i.e. “I like to see how are you are walking carefully.” and “Please use your quiet indoor voice.” I find the skills I learned as a parent volunteer in preschool have been amazingly useful throughout my life!

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