Hey guys, Chelsea here. So, I’ve never been a bride (give me a few more years, please!) but I have been a part of four weddings, and as a bridesmaid, I’ve learned a thing or two about what to do (and not do) from watching my respective friends handle their bridal duties.

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I know when it comes to weddings there’s a ton to plan. In fact, when I went to my friend’s wedding this past weekend she did things I had never even thought of, like making welcome baskets of snacks, toiletries, and an itinerary for guests staying at hotels . Read this article about wedding etiquette and you’ll see that apparently this is a must-do!
Each of my four friends had very different ideas about how she wanted her special day to be and I can respect that since every bride (i.e. woman) has unique personalities and preferences. But as someone who has carved time out of my schedule on four different occasions for these weddings, I’ve compiled a list of three things that brides should consider when it comes to managing their bridal party.

1. Pop the question
Once you have set the date, choose your vital bridal crew and ask them early on to be part of your wedding, letting them know how much they mean to you. I loved the way a friend of mine got asked (see the picture above). Of course it’s perfectly fine not to get crafty when asking, but a few kind, meaningful words go a long way.
Also, make sure you are clear with your intentions. If you want someone to be in your wedding party, let her know. It sounds simple but recently a friend invited me to her wedding with only six weeks notice and then a week later, asked me to be her maid of honor. I was first confused by the initial invite as a guest when I thought I’d be in her wedding, and then I was even more thrown when the maid of honor invite was seemingly an afterthought.
2. Give a token of appreciation
My friends who made the bridesmaid experience most enjoyable are those who recognized her bridal party had taken time and money to celebrate her future marriage, and in turn, found a way to show their gratitude. One friend made us cute shirts to wear while we got ready and gave us each an adorable necklace to wear on her wedding day, while another wrote the sweetest personalized notes. For me, it’s not about a gift. It’s about being thought of and feeling included and important.
3. Keep your bridesmaids in the know
Not everyone is a great planner, but if a bridesmaid is going to fulfill her duties of attending to the bride’s needs and being present at important wedding-related events, then the bride needs to properly communicate plans. Someone who doesn’t do this could actually just be a very laidback bride who doesn’t want to sound bossy, but you can still provide logistical details without being a bridezilla. Trust me, your bridesmaids will be happy to know the plan so they can be there for you!
If you’re married, what did you do to make things easy and fun for your bridesmaids? And if you’ve been a bridesmaid, what did the bride do that you appreciated? Got anything else to add to the list? Share ‘em in the comments!