I was super excited to receive this email in my inbox! Reader, Dominique, writes:
Recently my long distance boyfriend and I have decided to make it official and get engaged! We know it’s been right for a while and are completely ready. I’m so excited, I’ll be flying to Luxembourg to see him, pick out a ring, and have him pop the question one of the days I’m there.
Here is where the problem lies: He is completely against diamonds, which he has mentioned in years past (but I being a girl must have just blocked that out and thought he’d make an exception). I have never been materialistic at all, but upon finding out he ”certainly” won’t get me a diamond I’ve been in a total funk! I feel so guilty and horrible about feeling this way, I can only guess it’s the whole stigma people have around traditional engagement rings. I was wondering if you knew of any good sites where I could search for ”alternatives” to the diamond engagement ring, that aren’t tacky looking? I have this horrible pre-consieved notion of what they may look like and I hate feeling/behaving this way!!! Thank you for any help or ideas, I’d love to know your opinion on the subject too!
First of all, a BIG congratulations to you, Dominique!! Getting engaged is such an exciting step— enjoy it! It’s obvious that you love your boyfriend a lot and that you don’t WANT to care about having a diamond, but what girl can blame you for being attached to something that will be on your hand for the rest of your life??
The great news is that there are totally solutions out there!
I’m not sure why your boyfriend is anti-diamond, but if it’s for ethical reasons, you two should check out Brilliant Earth. All of their diamonds are conflict-free, and they use recycled gold and platinum.
Otherwise, there are a few alternative stones that look very similar…
Moissanite is a mineral that occurs in nature, but can also be created in a lab. It looks just like a diamond, but it’s a lot more affordable and doesn’t come with the ethical dilemma. (The ring above is $700 from Etsy.)
Another great option is white topaz. The ring above is only $76, and it’s absolutely gorgeous!
No matter what you two choose, I promise that you’ll love it. The meaning behind the ring will always trump the way it looks, and with the increasing popularity of non-diamond engagement rings, you don’t have to worry about people judging it or wondering whether or not you’re engaged.
Good luck on your hunt, and let me know what you end up choosing!
What would you do in Dominique’s shoes? Are you attached to a diamond, or would you be open to something different? Did you/would you want to help your boyfriend pick out your engagement ring? Share your thoughts in the comments!